Who's the freak now?

Ever since my spiritual self developed years back, I started questioning religion and existence of God, yet I always believed in a super power, a power which I failed to comprehend. This was mostly because there were many things that my knowledge of science couldn't explain. I have always had a rational look towards life but I have learnt one thing in my life and that knowledge comes from everywhere, everyone and everything. I try not to be so rigid in my thinking that I wouldn't see the truth even if it hit me on my head. I have a lot of weird ideas about different aspects of life which have no valid proof but that doesn't mean that I discard them from my head. Maybe someday I'll be able to prove them, until that day I think most would either consider me a fool or a freak :)

Fortunately I have managed to disregard this to quite a large extent. I believe in the concept of "My Life, My Ideas, My Belief" or in short "My LIB". Makes sense actually. Its more like my private library and it contains books that I like and I would want to have. If you like them, borrow them, if you don't, then don't. I may listen to your review of the books that I have, even your opinion. I might mull them over but don't think I'll throw away my books because you thought it went over your head or you didn't understand them.

What made me believe in the idea that something bigger is happening which I am unaware of or am unable to see, is the fact that there are many incidences in life which seem very mysterious. Usually people attribute such things to co-incidences, luck or intuition. I find it a little illogical or rather a little difficult to stomach. Why should it be that someday when I have this urge from within to hear an old song from childhood that I haven't heard in more than 5 years, suddenly appears on TV. How is it that I crave for a particular flavour of ice-cream and I suddenly get an invitation for dinner and the same flavoured ice-cream is served as dessert? Why is it that a thought about some old friend with whom I am out of touch comes on a day and that very same day I bump in to him in a mall? Coincidences? Who knows?

"Illusion" has repeatedly appeared in my head in different contexts over and over in different phases in my life. It was the name that came to me when I thought as a child that I would like to have a company of mine. It had that element of magic in it. I have come across it in various forms. The movie "The Illusionist" portrayed my belief of what a man can achieve or do when in love and then I finally got hold of the book "Illusions" by Richard Bach. It gave me a lot of answers, I don't know if they are true but I think they have an element of truth in them. It contained a lot of experiences and ideas that had inherently developed in my head. Going through the book just helped me gather my thoughts and try and apply what has been said in the book. A lot of it doesn't make sense and seem impossible. But for now, I am working on the part that I did understand.

The second thing that I have started noticing for the past few months is the number 11:11. I just randomly look at a watch and its 11:11 or a similar repeated number, eg 3:33, 5:55, 12:12 etc. But mostly its 11:11. And it appears in a lot of other places. Any of the machines that I use in the gym with a digital timer. In the beginning, I used to find it amusing but now it has become a little freaky. I recently did a google about it and was amazed to see that there are a lot of people who have experienced this, that I am not alone :) I am still reading about it. I plan to put up stuff about it soon, once I have read enough.

The path of self discovery is a difficult one, but its an exciting one. Everyone should take time out from life to do it. You just might be surprised to know how awesome you are and how unique :)