I have been reading, rather, I have been gulping it down. There have always been questions whose answers were left unanswered. There have been incidents which have not made sense. Which seemed pointless, a waste of time. I feel a little satiated now with this new knowledge I have found. I still do not believe in it yet but it has intrigued me. Let's just say that a lot of things have happened in the past few months quite unrelated to each other and yet all pointing towards the same direction.

I still do not know what I am to deduce from it all. Where it is that I am headed and yet I know that there is a destination ahead. I am not sure what I would find there but I know that all these questions that have been swirling in my head all my life will be answered. At least I believe so. But everything is hazy, there isn't a concrete picture forming. As the days go by and I experience newer things, this haziness seems to be clearing and yet it remains veiled. It is as if the more I find out about it, the lesser I know, and the lesser I know, the more I want to know.

I have already asked the questions. I do not know if they are correct. You cannot hope to be answered if you do not ask the right questions. But, the connections are inevitable and I guess undeniable. Am I being unscientific? Has not my education taught me to question everything? Am I being open minded or just seeing a pattern in the chaos, simply because I choose to and I am hunting for an answer. How do I again settle the conflict between logic and belief? Because my new beliefs are not proven to me scientifically and yet they seem very believable. As if I always knew something similar existed and yet had to be reminded of the details. The journey is interesting and yet confusing. Doubts lurk in each and every corner.

But it all comes down to one single thing, the big picture. Who paints it still remains a mystery. Or do we each have our own painting to be drawn or do we find people so that we can help each other finish it? Is it a collective or a personal? Maybe we are all headed towards the same place, just following our own chosen paths. And on the way we cross others, with whom we exchange notes about out journey. We try to convince some to join our paths but each must follow his own. At the end I believe we all meet again.