MMORPG called Life

Almost completed converting the first page design into html. Just got a little lazy towards the end and ended up watching a couple of movies. I miss watching movies :(. I love watching movies. I gotto watch more movies. Sheesh! That's like 4 movies in 4 sentences. I should just shut up about it now!

Alright, so getting down to what I planned to write about tonight. This is a pretty complex topic or should I say this is probably the most important topic. I am sure everyone at different points of life ponder about this and ask themselves a set of very basic questions.

1. Why am I here?
2. What is my purpose?
3. What happens to all this when I die?
4. What is the point of this existence? Of me? Of this world? Of this universe?

Very basic questions which I think everyone deserves an answer to. I mean, you come into this world with no choice of your own, you get hardly anytime to live (relative to the amount of things to learn, experience and see), you think you would be allowed to live your life on your terms, but then circumstances and people around you make it impossible and then one day you die. That's it. Some die content, some hopeless, some forcefully and some just die.

It troubles me a lot at times when I can't figure out the bigger picture. The higher purpose. Why do I exist? Is working as a software developer my purpose? Is being a sort of bearable son the reason for my living? Or is it just an excuse to experience the various emotions (but that too is debatable, as I am not sure every human emotion has been defined by our languages), but I do believe that emotions are the only thing that each of us, rich, poor, able or disabled can experience. There maybe someone thinking what about the mentally challenged people? Well I believe that they feel things, experience emotions that we able and "blessed" will never understand.

I am sure these questions must have bothered people who came up with the idea of an after-life or rebirth, the idea of a soul. It atleast gives hope that there is more to the existence than the worldly chores. I would like to believe in them too but I have a problem with that. Its a simple problem. If I have already lived life before then why am I consciously not aware of all that I have experienced and learnt before? Why am I not equipped to use the knowledge gained before in my previous lives to guide me in being a better person? Why aren't my choices in previous life helping me make more mature decisions? And I have no interest in hearing the opinion that they are guiding me subconsciously. Because it does not make sense to me. Seems like pretty much a waste of time and resources. I wish people knew this, the higher purpose. Because I think a lot of us waste our lives just trying to make a living or rather just to survive. I wish religions helped people learn the reason of existence. So much time, life, resources are being wasted on war, suppression and negative things. I try to encompass a lot in the word "negative". Just for the simple reason that something tells me that the negative comes to haunt you at one point or the other. It happens to me.

Based upon some of the things that I have read and experienced, I sometimes wonder if life is more like a MMORPG. Just google if you don't understand what it is. Something tells me that the "I" or the consciousness comes in to the ____ (I don't know what, universe? galaxy? or the singular point of energy?) just like a new player signs onto one of the games. You have your energy (life) and your objective is to cross the different levels to reach the end of the game. (There is no winner because everyone reaches the end) You start playing and you are given basic powers and tools. You cross levels, kill enemies, collect rewards, challenge other players. Now you soon realize that things are getting more difficult. Its not possible to cross levels. The obstacles are too difficult. So you think that maybe you should pair up with other players. You start looking for other players. See if they want to clear objectives as that of yours. And then you end up finding someone. You go and clear your objective and suddenly feel successful. During these collaborations, you realize that there are many who just clear their obstacles and then just move on, not checking to see whether you have completed yours. And then there are those who stay back to help you out. They go their own ways but come back to check on you and you do the same. These are the friends, friends you can count on no matter how far they are or how long you may not have been in touch, but you know that when required they will be there to help you clear the obstacle so that you can cross the level. And out of these, you find one with whom you enjoy clearing the obstacles. You may end up clearing your level before the other person or vice versa but you know that both of you will wait for the other to come to the next level.

I feel these are the soulmates. You live your life together, cross obstacles but not always do both partners complete the level together. One dies and passes on to the nest level while the other remains, lamenting on the loss but wanting to clear the level faster so that they can be reunited in the next level. But its not so easy finding your soul mate in the next level (unlike in the MMORPG where you have a friend list :) ). But when you do meet you recognize them. Their could be problems when you don't because you meet someone very similar to your soulmate but not quite him. Worse is the trouble when you meet more than one and are confused as to who is the real soulmate.

And the best part is, dying in the MMORPG does not mean you crossed a level. You respawn at the nearest birth point and need to start all over again. And without your soulmate, you may have to respawn a lot many more times than required to cross a level. With each level, you get more experience and a new obstacle. You die trying to clear the obstacle and you cannot go ahead unless you have completed it. Probably something similar to in life. Unless you have learnt a particular lesson in life, you keep coming back and experiencing the same thing over and over till you learn from the mistake and make amends.

You connect with a number of people during your adventures and you join groups, making friends and teaming up with other players and you try to stay close so that you don't die and look out for each other. You may have special powers that the other doesn't and you balance each other. Pretty much similar to what happens in real life.

But the biggest pickle is what happens when you cross the final level? Do you move on to another game? What was the point of it all? Who was the creator? Now ask yourself these questions with respect to your life. Brings you back to the beginning, doesn't it? :)