Abey aye! I am ok!

I know I was supposed to continue about the night after but I have to write this before it goes off of my head. Today was our gym trainer's Haldi (its a ritual about which I know very little, so shall not try and define it and write some crap. Bottom line is its the day when they have a lot of drinks and a lot of non-veg food. Apparently its the more exciting day of the whole marriage). Suman and myself were contemplating whether to go today or tomorrow on the day of the marriage. But the general consensus was, "Arey sir! Shaadi shaam ko 5 o'clock hai aur waise bhi shaadi mein kya karoge? Asli mazaa to aaj hai. Raat ko 3 baje tak daaru party hoga! mast nachenge!" Now that gave us more reasons not to go today :P. But the fact that we would miss out on the shaadi because we would not be able to make it after office made us decide otherwise and we decided to go today.

The whole thing was set up at juhugaon (we thought it was somewhere near Juhu when we heard the name for the first time) in Vashi. Neither of us were familiar with Juhugaon (It is basically sector 11, vashi) and our guide was supposed to be Nilesh (Suman's personal trainer), who is known for his misdirections. The last time he invited us to his home, he gave us directions which led us almost to the neighbouring town. The best part about him is he doesn't ask which way we are heading, where our starting point is, etc. He basically assumes these "minor details" and gives directions which is always invariably wrong. Today was no different. We knew it was near The Marine Center. Suman calls him up and tells him,"We are at the marine center and there is a ground near it. Where do we go?" Immediate answer, "Arey udhar hi hai sir! marine center, ground sab cross karo aur aagey aakey left lena, udhar kisi ko bhi pucho Sapna Lodge kidhar hai. Udhar aapko gaane ka awaaz aayega. Sun ke chale aana." We did the same. Unfortunately we almost reached a dead end. I asked Suman whether he was sure whether Nilesh knew which way we were facing. He wasn't confident but he said that he had already taken Nilesh's case about his sense of direction, so this time he wouldn't be wrong. Well we tried the "kisi ko bhi pucho" option and realized that we had walked in the exact opposite direction.

We somehow reached the destination. On reaching we realized that the groom was missing (not literally but couldn't find him where he was) but the daaru-party was in place. The first question was, "Peete ho na sir?" and the usual reponse when people hear us say that we don't drink. "Kya baat kar rahe ho!!?" Its as if we have committed this horrendous sin which is unimaginable and maybe even unpardonable! And that is usually followed by the usual ritual of trying to convince you to drink (as if they can suddenly break my life long resolution of not drinking giving me some cheap-ass excuse). Finally I sort of shut them off my case by delivering a lame ass dialogue to the famous reason, "Shiva ka shaadi hai sir! aaj to peeyo!" Told them, "Abey shiva ka shaadi hai to kya hua, main khud ke shaadi mein bhi nahi piyunga" I think that generally sent across the message that they are wasting precious time on me.

Suman unfortunately couldn't escape and he ended up taking a beer "cutting". I say "cutting" because the amount of beer was not more than a "cutting-chai". I on the other hand, had a couple of pegs of cola on the rocks :P. Soon they got busy with their stuff and didn't pay attention to our extremely boring habit of not drinking. Nilesh had already issued a disclaimer saying that he is not responsible for anything he does after he drinks. And apparently he is usually the entertainer after a couple of pegs. He starts off saying, "mujhe light dena, light!" And the rest of the guys are, "Abey pee na... kya light, light kar raha hai!?" Well one peg down and his smile seemed a lot bigger. Almost as wide as Julia Roberts' :D! Next thing we know, "One more please! I want one more!"

Down goes the second! Now I haven't seen a 750 ml bottle empty so fast. But I think within 15 minutes, 5-6 guys had downed one bottle. The other guys started taking his case, "Nilesh tujhe chadh gaya hai! Kal subah duty jaana hai, kaise jayega!?" He says, "Abey aye! I am ho-ho-ho-ok! Oye! Where is Royal Stag? Leke Aoo! Sir aap Royal Stag daalo! aaram se! koi tension nahi!" All of us were rolling all over the place laughing. He continues, "Main subah call kar dega! Madam! main kal shiva ke shaadi mein bahut peeya! aaj mujhe hangover hai, i'll not come!", turns to another guy and continues "abey sun, kal shaadi ke baad nerul gymkhaana se naach ke yahan tak ayenge!" (the distance is approximately 10 - 13 kms) We rolled all over the place some more.

Its really fun watching people get drunk, specially friends or peer. And I have noticed that the joy that a guy gets when he knows that he has found a drinking partner is limitless. The smile says it all. Its as if they have found a reason to live again. Also the sense of brotherhood. Normally a guy who would crib that everyone is finishing off his cigarettes would suddenly be offering everyone cigarettes and enjoying the sense of sharing :P "Aur peeyo!" comes from the heart! The final and the most irritating thing is the attempt of trying to make a non-drinker drink. Its like Dracula trying to increase his fraternity.