Picnic at Karjat

Had a very tiring but awesome day! There is no way I can sit and write today about what I did. My legs are aching like crazy and I am super tired. I just wish I could sleep immediately. But can't :(

Anyways the thing is that we had our company picnic and we went to Karjat. Basically went and halted at a place called Prakruti Farms and from there trekked to see the Kondane caves (something like that). Shall put the details later. It rained throughout the day and I got drenched through it all. Believe me when I say it, spending the whole day in a pair of wet jeans is not fun. Not fun at all! But it was an experience anyhow :)

Played football in the rain and completely covered ourselves in the mud, mainly because we spent most of the time on the ground thanks to the continuous rain and the excessive amount of mud. We then went and cleaned ourselves in the baby pool (by the time we got cleaned up, the baby pool was more like a pond, muddy!). We then jumped into the swimming pool with t-shirt, jeans and everything. :P Spent sometime playing water polo with a football

Had an awesome lunch where Mihir and myself managed to eat chicken which we later realized was not for us but for another group :P Too late suckers!!! Good thing I had loaded my plate on the first go itself :D hehehehe!!!

We then played a lot of Table Tennis and had a pretty good time :) The evening got a little boring since we had all got very tired and we just wanted to get back home. My situation was little worse since I had not carried an extra pant and though I changed into a dry t-shirt, I had to continue sitting in my wet jeans :(

Reached back home at 9. Waiting for Dida to come now. Mom/Dad went to pick her from the airport. Will put up photos and write in more details tomorrow.

Goodnight!

Hogged! Totally hogged!! Its pretty late and I gotto get up early tomorrow. Its our company picnic to Karjat tomorrow and we are to leave by 7:30 am. Tomorrow is going to be one bloody packed day! So that's it from me today. Details tomorrow.


PS : Watched Angels and Demons again on TV. The dumb pricks deleted all the murder scenes and the death scenes. Whoever did it should be impaled. Watched G-Force. Cute movie. Gotto see it again.

blyaah - 2

Ok so I bunked work today. There were numerous things happening today. I was pissed of in the morning. Reasons :
1. My computer was acting like a jackass and not working.
2. Dad had taken over the laptop and had no intention of letting me use it.
3. As a direct result of the above 2 points I couldn't work on the shitty problem that I had written about yesterday and it kept doing a marathon in my head.
4. The APC guys (UPS wala) did not send me the contact details of their engineer.
5. Had to take mom shopping because she wanted to buy stuff for Dida, whose coming on saturday. I realized that the only way to get through it is if I acted as a Zombie and just kept driving wherever she said. Thats what I did. Extremely boring!

At one point I had decided to go to office, but the journey made me decide otherwise. Anyways it was pretty late and it wouldn't have helped going to office at that hour, given the fact that I wouldn't have wanted to miss my regular bus, given the rainy season.

Things picked up with the evening. Went and practiced dance in the evening. That warmed me up for the gym and then went and gym-ed for an hour. Now I know tomorrow I'll skip it again coz I got a dinner party to attend and the place where I am going, the aunty there cooks fabulous! So, the extra kasrat today would infact be balanced tomorrow.

No checked columns in my table :(

At times, a person tends to get so stuck with an idea that you do everything possible to make it work or get it to look like you want it to. That's what happened to me today at work. Working on a GUI in QT and what I required was a way to make the headers of a table checkable. Basically if a table has 3 columns, then the column header should be checkable. Checking it enables the column while unchecking it disables it. I searched, I tried, I tweaked, I read, I did everything possible but couldn't get it to work like that. I can create checked items in the cell area of the table but not in the headers. Damn! Apparently, as soon as a QTableWidgetItem is turned in to a header, its properties change x-( Trolltech (now Nokia) should look into this and make my life easier. Now I gotto think of some other way to basically get the concept working in some alternate way.

Finally gym-ed after a long time today. I have managed to lose my muscles, gain fat and yet hovered around the same overall weight. Shape has obviously changed. :( Now gotto burn my ass off and get back in shape before moving to Pune. I plan to involve myself in more sport activities once I am there. Lets see if that works out.

A Horror Films' summary

I love horror movies. Why? I do not know. Probably because of the testosterone rush I get. But I like the scary ones, the genuinely scary ghost movies. I am not a fan of cutting, slashing, gory ones. They just make me sick in the stomach. I prefer the thrillers with mystery in them. If I look back, I think I have always liked ghost stories and horror movies. As a kid, the stories I loved hearing  the most were stories involving ghosts, witches and demons. Once I caught on the habit of reading, I read as many ghost stories as I could lay my hands on. 


The horror movie addiction started in Kalimpong. During my stay at Tapoban, Miss Bose had just got hold of a VCR. The only 2 types of movies we watched were movies of Dev Anand and horror movies. I was in class 6 then. I watched Evil Dead and couldn't sleep for 2 nights. Scared the shit out of me. Unfortunately, living in a creepy place like Kalimpong doesn't help. And after watching such movies, when you need to leave your room in the cold and navigate to the toilet in the night (which was not attached to our Boy's Room), valor was the last thing on my mind. The easiest and the most logical was step out of the room, stand in the balcony, close your eyes (apparently ghosts don't bother you if you keep your eyes shut) and pee out :D So that's what I did after a horror movie session.


I watched "Friday the 13th", "Evil Dead", "Nightmare on Elm Street", "Child's Play" and numerous other movies during my stay there. Its been years since I have seen a horror movie that has really scared me. :( Pathetic! It was so much easier getting scared as a kid. I tried watching those gory movies viz, "Hostel", "Saw", etc. Only made me sick in the stomach. Didn't really scare me. Then tried the serial killer ones, "Scream", "I Know What You Did Last Summer", "Urban Legend", etc. BULLSHIT!!! Absolutely bullshit! "The Final Destination" series though was a little interesting.


From the classics, "Omen" never scared me :( "Exorcist" did! :D I also really liked "Exorcism of Emily Rose". If you have seen the hindi horror movie "1920". It had the scare-factor in it. Well shot movie, had a good story to it. "Sixth Sense" didn't work for me though loved "The Others". I think everyone should see it. Had an awesome story and the last part was so bloody shocking! 


Japanese guys are crazy about horror movies and some of the best ones are Japanese. Liked "The Ring" and "The Grudge". Preferred the original Japanese over the English versions. Also tried the psycho-thriller-horror types. Don't know what the fuss was about "Psycho". My dad still thinks that's one of the best horror films. "The Shining" was interesting. I liked "1408" too. And then I tried all the handycam horror movies. "Blair Witch Project" and "Paranormal Activity". The handycam did give a real feel to it, though the lack of a story really made it a little drab for me. I won't say I didn't like them. I would rather say they were different. :P

I really crave for a good horror film. I wish they would make one.

A programmer's guide to Decoding Life

The following name has been recurringly coming to my head for the past few weeks and seeing the way my blog has progressed, I think its more apt. So I am officially changing its name from "A programmer's guide to Life, Coding..." to "A programmer's guide to decoding Life".

My computer is really behaving very weirdly. It works when it lies flat on its side. Keeps shutting off when it is in its normal upright position. Bloody weird! So I have decided to keep it in its parallel-to-the-ground position :P

There are quite a few things I do which are a little strange or rather a little "what-the-hell" types. One of them is feeding birds in the morning. It's a result of something that someone had told mom, that I should do for my betterment. I dunno how far that has worked out but I guess feeding animals has never hurt anyone. So every morning I tear a chapatti into small pieces and scatter them outside my window. Initially it was just crows, but over time, the variety of birds have increased to crows, myna, sparrows and an occasional pigeon.

I really don't get much time to observe their feeding habits during weekdays but on weekends I spend sometime watching them. I have noticed that each of them have their own behavioral patterns. As far as noticeable intelligence is concerned, crows are at the top, followed by sparrows and myna. The dumbest of the lot are the pigeons. Stupid to the core. I think they have no brain. They are just stupidity encompassed in feathers that can fly. When you are being chased by a cat or a dog, fly dumass!! Don't run! But they are too stupid to actually figure out when they should fly and when they need to run. Anyways moving on to their behavior. The crows generally pick up the pieces and fly off. At times, they pick up a couple of pieces at one go. I have also noticed them putting the pieces in water at times when the chapatti is a little hard. I was very impressed :). The sparrows are fidgety little fellows. They keep hopping and moving while pecking at the pieces. They don't carry them but eat as much as they can. The mynas seem as if they are panic stricken. They are looking everywhere, pecking, looking again.

But the best part is that none of them try to push the other away. They seem pretty peaceful in each other's company and are not bothered about what the other is getting as long as they get some. Liked their way of life and coexistence with other competitive species :)

Expectations

My computer's gone cranky. I thought it just wanted a cleaning. But apparently that's not the case. Right now my CPU is lying flat on its side with its other side open taking half my table space. I thought it was a problem with the SMPS, so got a new one. That's not the case either. It's definitely got something to do with the power supply. That is what I am suspecting. I just hope nothing is wrong with the motherboard. Because that would mean a replacement and if I start replacing parts of it I'll end up upgrading to a new system, which currently is not something I am looking forward to.

During my college years, I had this calendar with witty sayings and cartoons illustrating them. One of them was, "Expect the worse and you'll always be pleasantly surprised". I tried that for a while, didn't work for me. I think it brings in negativity. You expect things not to happen and sometimes it ends up not happening. I think it plays opposite to the "always-think-positive" attitude. As it is, it's a bloody difficult job trying to keep the attitude, specially when you can't control things that depends on someone else. So that is where hope kicks in. You hope that things happen. But you can't expect negative things, cause then you can't hope for the best. I do not understand the concept of "Expect the worst and hope for the best". How? How can you hope when you expect the exact opposite to happen?

I think not expecting is a better option. It sounds as if you are being indifferent to the whole thing, but I think it is better than expecting things to happen and then feel bad about it if it doesn't. Or not expecting things and then feeling worse, thinking "I knew it wouldn't happen!". That's like reaffirming your negativity. Keeping it at the zero-level gives it a hope of moving into the positive quadrants and yet minimizes the effect of the negative quadrants. I am trying to attain that level of thought. Not an easy job. I remember, as a student, my Dad thought that I would get into the IITs. I didn't. Never felt the push of wanting to get in. Gave all the exams though. Then after graduation, Dad wanted me to do a MBA. Disappointed him in that too. My mom once told me, "Your Dad has a lot of expectations from you, do you plan to ruin them all?" I asked her, "Why does he expect things from me which do not align to what I want in my life?" Never really understood my Dad's point of view. I guess you tend to expect things from people you love, it's natural I guess. Funny thing is you get angry on them if it is not fulfilled.

If I define a "Expecter" (the one who is expecting) and an "Expectee" (from whom it is expected), then the situation sort of boils down to the following.

The Expecter expects from the Expectee because he loves him and finds it but obvious that the Expectee would do as wanted by the former. But then thats not what the latter has in his scheme of things, which obviously screws the whole situation. Now, repeated occurrence of this either leads to a rift between the two or the Expecter just stops expecting, reaches the zero level. Mostly as a defense mechanism and avoiding unnecessary disappointments. Worst is when there is a rift between the two and then the "no-expectation" happens. I think its better to get to the state right at the beginning. Avoids a lot of problems. :)

Danced after a month! It felt good to be back in the class. But I know it won't be long before I may have to leave it. If my weekend trips from Pune doesn't work out, then I'll have to leave the class and search for some class there. Fortunately, I went early and helped Conrad with the Salsa 1 batch, which kinda helped me loosen my muscles and got me back into the groove. By the time our level started, I was alright :) Did some Casino Rueda at the end and was surprised to see that I had forgotten quite a few steps. Natural but sad :(

The evening was good. By the end, I felt a lot better. I wonder if my site will ever come up :P Was working on it today and I don't know if my idea of making the first version a static one, a good one.

I cleaned my computer today after almost a couple of years I think. It just conked off and refused to work. Kept shutting down on its own. Was forced to open it, clean it, and blow dry it. It was really really dirty inside. I ought to clean it more often but I like my computer's cleanliness habits. Force the owner to clean it or refuse to work. :)

Ok! Nobody think!................ Splaaaat!!!

I want to learn the technique to switch my brain off, close my eyes and drift off. I think it would solve a lot of my problems. I have been attempting to meditate for quite a long time but failed miserably. Every time I try not to think, I seem to start thinking more! Following is how my meditation attempts go. I close my eyes, lie on the bed and the thought flow goes something like this...

"Hmmm... Ok! So I am not supposed to think anything at all... Lets try concentrating on breathing... Inhale... Exhale... Inhale... Exhale... take deep breaths! Inhale... Exhale... Damn I feel my head pressured... this is not working... Inhale... Exhale... Lets count... 1... 2... 3... should i count sheep? Arey bhai! That is when you want to sleep, not meditate! Count again... Inhale... Exhale... arey not breathing... count.... 1... 2... 3... Heads really feeling heavy... am i meditating already?.... but should i not feel lighter?... ok lets try the school wala technique... concentrate on a flame.... flame.. flame... khaali flame? or should i have a candle beneath it? Maybe a lamp? Oi! flame is quivering because of wind! kaminey! stop thinking... sheesh! I think i should just sleep..."

One more attempt failed miserably! It is so damn difficult not to think when you don't want to think. Now try not thinking about a topic that you are troubled by. You end up thinking the most about it :)

Was watching Hitchhiker's Guide and there is a place called Vogonosphere where our main characters go to rescue a girl. The thing about that place is you get smacked in the face by these invisible things from the ground if you think, or an idea comes to your head. A fly swatter type of a thing springs up from the ground and smacks you in the face if any thoughts, imagination or theory comes to your mind. Super hilarious. And once they figure out why they are being hit, they try not to think and get smacked silly!

I think I need something like that. When I push the I don't want to think button, this thing gets activated and smacks me every time I think. Maybe I'll just be beaten unconscious and would stop thinking! :D That's quite a plan. I think I have actually switched off my brain! I should sleep...

I really don't feel like writing much today. Have been working on my site again for a change. Though effectively I have missing gym :( Had good speed in the evening. Managed to get hold of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in under an hour :)

Had a weird dream last night where I dreamt that I had just gone to sleep and it was time to get up. Unfortunately the getting up part was in real life :P. It happens many times when you dream that you have switched off the alarm but it still rings and you get frustrated as to where the sound is coming from. You try everything but just can't switch off the alarm! Then you finally wake up and realize that it was your alarm that was not switching off and not the one that you were trying to switch off in your dream :)

Weird stuff!!

Vactrain

It was 1999 and I was in class XI. I was always very interested in Physics. I understood it a lot better than Chemistry. Sucked very bad in Chemistry. It was the reason my board percentage suffered :( Would have definitely crossed 90 otherwise.

I had just learnt about magnetism and electromagnetism. I was very fascinated about like poles repelling each other. The concept of the magnetic field amazed me and I was really excited to do the magnetic field line experiment. What we basically did was put 2 magnets at a distance with their opposite poles facing each other and then sprinkle iron filings on a paper above it and then slowly shake the paper. The iron filings would get attracted by the magnets and would bunch up together to form the field lines.

During one of our class discussions, I had a brilliant idea. I reasoned with my physics madam, that if we had a magnet in the shape of a long plate with the 2 poles as either face and we place a magnetic object which is repelled by one side of the plate, then it would float above the plate. The gravitation pull would be balanced by the repelling force of the magnet. Then if we can "somehow" make it move along this plate, then the whole problem of friction, wear and tear could be solved. And it also felt that since the object would be suspended in mid air it would require less energy to move it and hence save whatever the source of energy would be used.

After pondering a bit more about it, i came to the conclusion that if we placed the whole thing inside a vacuum chamber then even the air friction could be removed and at high speeds, air friction plays a major role. I suggested the idea to my teacher. She said its interesting and I should try doing it, maybe as a class XII project. Funnily enough, I never followed it. Instead I studied surface tension and the capillary action of soap water and as a result judge which was a better detergent :P

Just a few days ago I came across an article on the web on vactrain, the future of maglevs and I smiled to myself. Here's a link to it,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vactrain

I am sure the idea came into a lot of people's head. In fact, I guess its one of the first things that a person thinks of once they learn about magnetism, but it made me realize that no matter how far fetched an idea could be, one should always give it a try. There maybe a lot of people with similar ideas but you just could be the first person to try it. :)

The camera that wasn't

Sometimes I wish, I had a camera as a kid, to capture moments, places that keep flashing in my head. They are imprinted in my head but time fades away the details. The little things slowly disappear. Photographs help in remembering them. I wish I had photos of Kaji House in Kalimpong, of the tree in the garden outside, which used to be my favourite hang-out spot (literally... it had an awesome branch which was perfect to hang on to and do acrobatics on). I don't even have photos of my dogs I had then, the first one was called Mickey and the second Julie. Julie lived a long happy life and was my favourite. The beauty of Kanchenjunga on a full moon night is something thats in my head but I can never explain its beauty to anyone nor show it. Unless I am lucky enough to spend another night in Kalimpong on such a clear full moon night.

I remember how my Dad returned with one slipper on while the other was washed down the stream near our house while he was trying to cross it. The rains had turned the sad little stream into a furious water force. I remember the bottle-brush tree in which there was a wasp's nest and on a fateful day I poked it with a huge bamboo and was chased all over the compound and bitten in quite a few places. I remember our farms on which I spent my weekends digging, looking for treasure (it all started because I had managed to somehow find a silver chinese coin while helping my caretaker prepare a part of the land to plant maize). We also grew peas, carrots, pumpkins, squash, bitter-gourd, tomatoes and chillies.

Mom used a wooden stove to cook food. It was a huge place made of mud, with a large storage place for wood right above it. I used to love sitting in front of it and warm myself during the winters. Unfortunately, I can never see those moments again but just try and remember them as long as I can till the day I can't remember them to miss them anymore.

Mind it!

The mind is an amazing piece of work isn't it? It can churn out revolutionary concepts, life saving ideas, inventions beyond belief and at the same time such earth shattering, mind boggling crap that you start doubting the existence of intelligence!

Everything originates within the confinement of the 1.4kg of gray matter. What you sense, what you feel, how you behave, how you react, your judgement, everything! Its amazing if you really think about it. There are numerous books, researches and movies on the topic of the brain and how it works or how it can be made to work, manipulated at times. I think Matrix was the first movie which made me start wondering about the mind. The part where Morpheus explains Neo the concept of reality was enlightening! True, isn't it? What we see, hear, sense is after all just signals our brain intercepts and interprets. Then whats all the fuss about reality? If your brain can be fooled, then you are just a chassis.

Which leads us to the next question that, if its all in the brain, then what about the "I"? Am I just the brain or the rest of me matters? When I talk about myself, am I talking about my brain or is there something more to me than that. For a moment lets not talk about the soul, since "scientifically" speaking it is still not accepted that a soul exists. That leaves us pretty much with just a brain. So if a person falls in love with another person, he is basically falling in love with the brain? If you can learn to control your brain, it means you can learn to control yourself. But then how does the brain learn to control its own self? Control isn't natural right? Disorder is.

I told you! The mind can really come up with a lot of crap! :)

Weird little habits

I am pretty oblivious to a lot of things happening in the house. My mother recently told me that the washing machine was making a lot of sound, which I very conveniently filtered out and acknowledged with a slight nod of head and a "hmm..." while merrily typing away on my computer. She immediately understood that I hadn't heard what she had just said. I think she made a sarcastic comment on my "not-listening" habit but I did not hear that either.

The other day Dad called me at work to remind me about something I had said I would do when I heard this weird sound in the background. It sounded like a child wailing after being forcefully fed a glass of bitter-gourd (Karela) juice. And it was a periodic sound. I asked my Dad where he was and which kid was making such a ruckus. Dad quietly replied, "It's not a kid, it's the washing machine. Your Mom's washing clothes." I decided we needed to get a new washing machine. And that's what we did today.

Every family has their weird little habits, just like every house has a feeling of its own. I don't know if you have noticed, but whenever you go to a house for the first time, you'll experience a different feeling. Every house has a smell and vibe of its own. You'll notice that in some houses you feel comfortable as soon as you step in while in some houses you feel a little uncomfortable and alien. I think this vibe or energy is actually a part of the people living in the house. And the process of "making a house a home", I feel, is what makes the difference. The little things that make a home, including the little weirdness that each family develops.

We have this habit of collecting plastic bottles of soft drinks and juices for storing drinking water. Its not like we are cheap guys who don't want to buy proper water bottles. We have a lot of them too, including (overpriced) Tupperware bottles. But we just end up storing water in bottles of Coke, Fanta and a variety of juice bottles, sizes varying from 2 L bottles to 300 ml pet bottles.

This weekend, I told my Dad, we need to do something about this. It looks sad. Pathetic looking bottles all over the place. We decided to throw them all out. We threw approximately 15 bottles out. I noticed today, we still have around 6 remaining. I realized some things are meant to be. There is no point in trying to change them :) but an occasional clean-up is required so that it can be messed up again.

Shutter Island

Its been a good weekend so far :) and I still have Sunday left. Worked a little on my site after ages! I have been staring at the screen for 15 mins and I don't know what to write. I think I should call it a day and attempt writing tomorrow again. Watched Kartik Calling Kartik and Shutter Island.

Shutter Island was awesome! Seriously crazy movie. A Martin Scorsese film. Pretty well done and gripping. Leo was good and so was Ben Kingsley.

Wishful thinking?

I had once written about how sometimes when we really wish strongly, things happen. It was proved again today. Call it a coincidence but truly speaking I really don't care because I felt very happy at the news.

Our family has had a tradition of taking "Diksha" from spiritual leaders of their choice. I have heard that my grandparents had taken their diksha from swamijis of Ramkrishna Mission. The idea is that you choose a Guru who is wise in the ways of spiritualism and then you take diksha from him and learn from him. Try and follow the path of simplicity and yet lead a worldly life. My Dad hated the idea of joining the Ramkrishna Mission as he spent most of his childhood life in missionary schools where he developed a disliking for all swamijis.

My mom on the other hand had always been religious and as a result believing in the ideas and paths of spiritualism albeit the channel was different. During our stay in Hyderabad, we came in contact with one such spiritual leader, a lady. The first time I saw her, the thing that came to my mind was that she looked very much like my granny (maternal). It struck my mom too and I do not know how but they developed an instant rapport with each other. My mother had been troubled with things and the lady helped her a lot during that time. My mother decided to take Diksha from her and make her, her guru. During those days, my spiritual level wasn't that high but I used to like talking to her. So when my mom suggested that I take diksha from her, I agreed.

Lately, as is evident from my blog, I have been going through some changes and have been thinking about a lot of stuff. I had been contemplating talking to her about it but didn't want to do so over the phone. Unfortunately she stays very far away (Agartala). But I had thought that I would make a trip and spend sometime with her during the break between my job change. Well that plan didn't really materialize but I really did want to meet her.

I spoke to her a few days back and was telling her that I wanted to meet her but it seems it is not happening very soon. She asked me to meet her in August end when she would be in Calcutta, but that would not be possible as I am supposed to be joining the new place then. Today my Dad gets a call from her surprisingly and she says that something has come up and she will be coming to Bombay in the first week of August. I was extremely happy. Couldn't actually believe that it was actually happening. But then again I really wanted to meet her. I think the wishing worked.

By the way, it was her idea that no matter what, I should keep the habit of writing. Said it would help me understand and realize a lot of things, my own thoughts. I must say it helped :)

Taj Mahal

The Taj has fascinated me ever since I was a kid, partially because we had a tiny replica of it and partly because it is so popular all over the world that it is a symbol of the country. Talk about Paris, the Eiffel Tower comes to mind, mention egypt and the sphinx falshes before you. Taj is exactly the same for India.

Most people I know had seen the Taj. Worse was the feeling when my I realized that each and every foreigner with whom I spoke about India and who have visited India had seen the Taj. Its a pathetic feeling to hear about places in your own country from foreigners and not getting an opportunity to see it. After years of lamenting and "I-really-want-to-see-the-Taj!" statements I finally had an opportunity to see it in October 2009 when I managed to make a trip to Delhi and places around it.

To tell you the truth, I was extremely unimpressed with Agra and the approach to the Taj. Small roads, traffic, crowd, dirty and pretty pathetic. Its highly possible that the road we had taken was the worst of the city but it was a one day trip and we had planned Fatehpur Sikri and Taj on the same day. So it was a pretty hurried trip.

It was supposed to be a full moon on the day we had visited. Now, I am not sure whether Taj is open to tourists for a longer period of time on days of full moon but that is what we heard. Though the timings mentioned at the counter said otherwise. The queue was HUGE, both for the ticket and entrance. Was amused to see the foreigners being charged super high, not that I cared. I would have probably, had I come to see it with a few :)

I was happy to see that they don't allow cigarettes, matches inside the premises. My Dad on the other hand wasn't. I just laughed at his sorry face when they threw his pack in the dustbin. God knows how many times I have wanted to do it :)

The main entrance or the Great gate as it is called was massive with intricate designs and patterns inscribed all over it. The geometric patterns and designs are so beautifully carved that it really mesmerizes you. The thing which really surprises me when I see these old buildings is the level of detail and the consistency. A wall filled with a particular shape seems flawless. Each unit shape is exactly similar to the next. I do not know how they managed to do it. But the scene which took my breath away was the following

I was spell bounded! There were hundreds of people around me but they simply disappeared. I felt as if it was just me and the Taj. Such was its beauty. And as I walked (rather pushed and pulled) into the garden past the entrance, I just felt peaceful. I realized that it was so much more than I had imagined. It just seemed mesmerizing. I have heard people say that its turning black and this and that and blah... blah! But at that moment nothing mattered. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and there was no doubt in my mind about it.

The only problem was that it was super crowded and once I got over the initial wonderment, I needed to get good photos of the place. I also wanted to see it up close but my parents weren't that interested as they had already seen it before and they had no intentions of standing in a queue to see the inside. I, on the other hand decided that I would see as much as possible. I went up and stood in a queue which was unbelievably long. The queue had completely circled the Taj and when I had joined the line I was near Taj's entrance. Which basically meant that I would have to take a complete circle before entering. I did not give up though a part of me really wanted to get out of there.

I went in saw the resting place of Mumtaz, though didn't find it that impressive. The work on the marble was awesome but couldn't take good photos (it was actually not allowed) due to lack of light.

I had a lot of time to see the Taj from its four sides while standing in the line. The work is really magnificent and I read that the Taj was actually adorned with precious stones. Though its just colour now.

I tried to capture the grandeur of the Taj in the following photo but I don't think its posible to capture its beauty. You really need to go there and see it. That is the bottom line :)

I came back to see mom and dad sitting on a quieter part of the ground on a bench waiting for me. I went and joined them. I had decided that I needed to visit the Taj with more time in hand. I would have loved to just sit and look at it for a while but we were running out of time and we needed to get back to Delhi.

This was the view I saw from where we sat. There was a lot of things running through my mind then. Things were happening and had just initiated before my trip began. What better place than the Taj to sit and mull over stuff?

Before leaving the place, made a small promise to myself. Next time I come here I am coming with the girl I love. :)

Unhygienix

My stomach has gone through such torture all my life that I am sure it has already reached its half-life by now. I think it's a little radioactive too by now :D I have trained my stomach to digest a lot of stuff, including a variety of meat and vegetables. Not to forget adulterated oil and crappy vanaspati ghee. The torture mainly began in college followed by my stint at Baroda.

College food was a culinary disaster and the hygiene was something we tried our best not to investigate. There were basically 2 tastes. Taste of the dal and taste of the rest. What I mean is apart from the dal everything tasted the same. Whether it was chicken, fish or brinjal, they all tasted exactly the same. And we occasionally found  insects in the food but seriously speaking, they are after all bio-degradable. If we saw it, we just took it out and continued eating. Never really bothered us much.

Baroda was another story. Attempted a tiffin service, but soon realized that I was flushing down the food more often than initially planned. And then I just started eating out (after attempting to cook on my own). The problem with cooking is that though it was the healthiest alternative and my cooking was not life-threatening, but the effort was too much and I really don't like cooking. I am more of the eating type :D Appreciate good food and good cooks. Eating out in a vegetarian state basically means that I ended up eating Paneer most of the days and by the end of my stay there, I am sure I had developed a layer of oil in my stomach.

I do face stomach problems once in a while but I have this crazy idea that I can survive any food, with absolutely no issues with the level of hygiene. I wanted to test it again today and so went to this seriously sidey joint at powai. It is sort of a galla where one can get teas and snacks. The idea was to get a samosa-pav. I have eaten there before, but today I decided, I would check out hte hygiene level of the place.

First thing I noticed was that covering food was a myth to them and everything was basically kept in the open. Did I mention that this shop is on the newly built Powai freeway facing the road? By the time I had ifnish deciding what I wanted I realized that my table was still not cleaned. Now, if you have eaten in roadside dhabas, you must be aware of how water is served. They use the finger-dip process, ie they carry around 5 glasses held in such a way that their finger tips are just touching the water surface. I decided to opt out of drinking water there. I also realized that they were using the same cloth for drying their hands and the plates. And I did catch them wiping the serving area with the same cloth too. My heart had started palpitating but I had decided that I would not let it faze me. The dude then cleaned his hand with the cloth mentioned above and grabbed a pav and samosa. Put some extremely questionable chutney on it and served. I wanted to run away but I was on a mission. I somehow managed to eat it and got myself a bottled milk to wash it down.

Fortunately, I am still alive to post this incident and my stomach hasn't picketed against my experimentation. I am not sure if I'll go there again but it felt good to realize that I can still stomach extremely unhygienic food which basically means throw me any place and I will not go hungry :D

Catalyst

Nothing out of ordinary is happening but I am strangely in a pretty happy state. So its official now. I am off to Pune. I have accepted the current offer sent by Persistent and I join on the 30th of August. I think the decision to move has still not sunk in properly but this time I get a feeling that I need it. It feels like I am on the right path. Just the way it felt when I left Reliance and joined Zeus in spite of taking a salary cut. This time I am leaving my comfort zone, my family, my friends and yet it feels like its the right thing. As if I am on the right track.

Maybe it'll give me the right balance between independence and family. (I think I have said this before) I just hope the work is good. Cause if the work life is happening, the rest falls in place and they sort of provide feedback to each other. There are a lot of things that I intend to do once I am there but I need the catalyst. The catalyst has worked wonders for me. This sudden turn of events has been all because of it. I just need it to be a permanent part of my equation. And the best part is that not only does this agent act as a catalyst, it also balances my damned equation!

I had realized the requirement long back and that's what I had been looking for and now that I have found it, I have absolutely no idea of how to integrate it to the equation. This situation can be best explained by the example of a Nuclear Fusion reaction. At a certain distance, the 2 nuclei repel each other because of the similar charges or rather the electrostatic charges. But if brought together close enough then the nuclear force takes over and then... miracle! So that's the problem. The nuclear forces are still not strong enough :)

lol! That was bloody cryptic!

Had a good day at work :) Things are falling in place as far as the GUI is concerned. Its taking shape now :) Got the final letter. So things are all in place. A change is around the corner.

Don't feel like writing much today... Am in a happy place for the moment. I should leave it like that.

Twenty's status update

Was speaking to Kartik today and he reminded me about our pact that we had made. We had decided a certain thing that we would do when we reached 30. We just pushed it to 35 :P

A lot of things need to be done, things that I had thought, I would have got done by the time I finished the twenties. I think I have managed to do quite a few of them already, but there are still quite a few left. A lot of them involves travelling. An ex-colleague of mine had just taken a year long sabbatical to travel all around India. I was spell-bounded by the things he has seen. Two of the things that he has done which I have always wanted to do is reach the Everest Base Camp and a bike trip to Ladakh. I don't know when I will finally get to do them.

I wanted to do a few foreign trips but then they were not really on priority. Would have been nice though. Wanted to be in a decent position in Software Development. Even though I did reach a position I wanted to be in, a position of authority and freedom with job satisfaction, I wasn't satisfied. So I am going to try something else. Try my hand at something bigger. Start lower and slowly climb my way up.

I have been always a family guy, though I have lived away from my folks on and off. I did want a place of my own by 30 but I wanted it near my folks. I just can't stay away from them. I like the setup that they have in "Everybody Loves Raymond". It would work for an Indian family I think. It gives the right balance of privacy and extended family. But then again a place of my own seems more like a liability. I mean its not like I have a family of my own.

I had decided that I wouldn't smoke or drink and I have successfully managed to keep that promise to myself. I have always felt that activities of self improvement and gaining newer capabilities not only keeps one out of trouble but also helps in the process of growth, and by growth I mean intellectual growth. There are a few areas that I still need to work upon but mostly things are pretty much under control.

What I need to do I guess, is actually make a list of things I need to do and start ticking them off. Something similar to my new year resolution system. If that can work, then this will too. Atleast I believe so :)

Post Birthday celebration

I had an awesome after-birthday celebration today! I knew that its gonna be a fun day right from the beginning when the plan to do a movie marathon was conceived. Monali came over in the afternoon and we started off with Andaz Apna Apna. Its a cult movie and every time you watch it, you discover newer things :)

Himika and Aparna came over by the time we started food and it was nice catching up with them. We were soon totally into the movie with the exception that Himika and myself kept running between my room and the movie, cause her hubby had sent tasks that needed to be done :P. Went and got Parul around 5:30 and we then had another cake cutting session which ended with cake on my face at the end of it (it was the first time)

The girls had a super time taking my case and I knew it was futile trying to fight it. So I went with the flow. Shekhar came towards the end. Did a little dancing and then Monali/Parul decided to drag me to watch Knight and Day (which was almost like Mission Impossible - IV with Cameron Diaz in it). The action saved my day along with some of Diaz's witty dialogues. The girls salivated over Tom Cruise.

Followed it with dinner at The Golden Wok. Good food and ambiance. A super day, to sum it up :)

Birthday Boy!!

Yup :) Thats me! Almost done celebrating my 29th birthday. 5 more minutes before it ends :P

Had a good day. A lot of friends called, was talking on the phone most of the day, came back home early. Went out with my folks in the evening and got myself some new clothes :) And then took them out for dinner.

Tomorrow might be a fun day and a pretty action packed day. Lets see how it goes. Don't want to spend too much time writing tonight cause I am kinda sleepy and plan to doze off early. But this basically sums up my evening and my birthday

2 Trousers + 2 Shirts + 1 Belt = 5.6K
Restaurant Bill = 1K
Fighting with Dad to decide who pays the bill = priceless :)

29!

29 years of existence! Another year and down goes my twenties! I remember I felt sad leaving my teens when I turned twenty. I plan not to repeat the same mistake while leaving my twenties. I need to do all those things that I thought I would have done before I turned 30. Leaves me with just a year.

The day was decent. I have planned to resume gym from monday. Work was good. The tree menu is working good. Only problem is to rediscover the method to implement the functionality of right-click on the tree and making a custom menu based upon the type of item clicked on, in the list. I know how to do it in QT3 but as usual they had to go and change it in QT4.

I plan to start this year with the following 2 interesting dialogues,

From Kung Fu panda
Oogway: One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

From Matrix
Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but, you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase.
Neo: What vase?
[Neo turns to look for a vase, and as he does, he knocks over a vase of flowers, which shatters on the floor]
Oracle: That vase.
Neo: I'm sorry...
Oracle: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
Neo: How did you know?
Oracle: Ohh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?

Topsy-Turvy

I have not been satisfied with my recent posts. They have been abstract, random and very blyaaah! The last few days have been very busy, fun at times and not so fun at others, tiring nevertheless. Its difficult to put things down when there are too many things running around in your head. Anyways, its time I pulled up my socks and wrote something decent. As is evident from my posts earlier, a lot of them have been in the realms of psychology and philosophy. I guess it reflects my current thought process. Too many questions to find answers of. I am told that if I keep thinking about such things then I'll stop enjoying life and miss out on living.

I don't really agree with it though. I am living my life, though not how an average person my age would. There are a lot of things that I don't do because mostly I find them useless and not worth pursuing. I just get a feeling that its not going to help me achieve what I have come here for (I have no idea what that is). Secondly. I do not repent not doing them. There I go, talking about gray areas. Damn!

I want to make a trip to Sikkim this August, don't know if it'll work out. But it's due. I go there every 2 - 3 years and I last went there in 2007. Really miss the place. It would be a good break and fresh start to my new beginning. I can't believe that I am actually get out of my comfort zone and try out something new. I don't like staying away from home, I am more of a domesticated, home-loving kinda guy. I am most stable and peaceful at home than any other place. But this time, everything I am doing has a reason, I am not letting life change my life, but changing it with decisions that are thought of and pondered.

Never realized an idea could turn my life topsy-turvy!

A Simple Life?

I really have a very simple life. I have my problems but when I compare it to others', they are really not much. I do not know if I chose simplicity or simplicity chose me, but I thank God and my parents for it. They have armed me with all the things that I need to lead a simple, full filling life.

I wonder if its just choices that shape your life. I believe so. But then what about circumstances? Would you call life simple if you ran away from difficult situations? I don't think that qualifies. I guess the best option would be to face the circumstances, deal with it and gain experience. Make sure that you don't repeat the mistake again or repeat the situations which would lead to a similar messy circumstance.

I just pray that my friends have a little peace and quiet in their life for a change. Just to let them know how it feels, so that they can put effort to pursue such a life. :)

It felt like a sunday. That's what it was! Bharat Bandh actually made a sunday out of a monday. I lazed around most of the day, read a bit for a change and generally socialized in the evening. I was so brain dead all day (and still am) that I actually didn;t think of anything to write. So I think I'll just let it be tonight.

Signs

I had a really great sunday. Potpourri at Inorbit, Vashi is awesome! Had some really great food today, followed by "I Hate Love Stories", followed by coffee at CCD. Full on "Masti"! The movie was decent, with the second half dragging a bit. Imran Khan was good and so were the support characters. Sonam Kapoor was very average but looked cute :). I was impressed with Karan Johar's take on his films and actually letting this movie make fun of all his prior movies. I like folks who can laugh and make others laugh at their own cost. It's a lot easier making fun of others and degrading them than making jokes on one's own self. Kudos to KJo for that :)

This movie had references to signs that the hero keeps seeing, as if being guided by a cosmic super power. If I had seen this movie a year back I would have just laughed and passed comments like, "Man! Such farce!". But then again, my outlook towards life is a lot different now. An engineering brain doesn't like to believe in things that cannot be explained by logic.

I don't think I have believed in signs or even considered them till September last year. I don't know if I still believe in them but I, now have an open mind to everything and anything that I do not understand. The question which initially bothered me was that whether the signs were controlling my behavior or it was I who controlled what I saw and what I considered as signs.

Have you ever felt so sure about something that you would do anything to make it happen? Have you felt as if things were happening just the way they were meant to be? Felt as if you could see a pattern in things? And when you were confused, undecided and lost, saw signs which miraculously made things simple in a matter of fact way? Or things just fell in place without rhyme or reason. Just when you thought that there was no hope left, some situation would pop up that would give hope and make way?

Well that was exactly what was happening to me. Everytime I got high, things would happen that would pull me down, and when I was down, I would see signs that made me push ahead. Open up doors where there were solid walls. There have been moments where I felt utterly hopeless, but the signs just egged me on. And I let them move me. I offered no resistance for the simple fact that I wanted to see the signs, because it was not the signs that mattered at the end, it was what they were pointing to. Did I get what I wanted? No! Are there still signs? I don't know because now I no longer look for signs to help me decide. I know what is to be done. I have stopped worrying about the end.

Paranormal Rocket Singh

My day started off pretty bad but ended well. :) Was pretty pissed off till the evening and too top it Conrad canceled the class today. But did end up having fun though. I think I have told about my little change in plans to most guys I wanted to tell.

Watched 2 movies, yesterday and today. Rocket Singh and Paranormal Activity. Rocket Singh was good. I realized that Ranbir Kapoor is consciously doing different movies. Some of the movies bombed but the stories are really nice. So was Rocket Singh. What I liked about that story was that though what they were doing was illegal, the character was trying his best to keep his honesty alive. He had a clear idea throughout about what was right and what was wrong and he did what was needed of him in times of crisis. Liked that point. Rocket Singh is definitely a good watch.

Paranormal Activity was more in the lines of Blair Witch Project style shooting. It got a little boring at times because there wasn't really a story in it. But it had it's moments. There were some pretty scary scenes. And I liked the parts where they are sleeping and its being filmed. I am still waiting for a movie to scare me. I am just tired of horror movies which make you sick with all the gore or try to startle you with sounds and camera effects.

Transformations

Age does not make a man, neither does it change a boy into a man. Incidents do, people do. Your first job doesn't make you responsible, nor does graduation see to it that a boy grows out of his juvenileness. I think there are two ways to undergo this transformation. Firstly, when you are pushed into it due to situations beyond your control. When you are forced to give up your immaturity and shoulder responsibilities. Secondly, after living a carefree life, you suddenly feel that its time to get into situations and circumstances which demands your answerability.

How you chart your course in life is also very closely connected to this transformation. Even though I don't think there is a distinct definition of "being the man" and I doubt ritualistic "coming of age" actually helps in it in anyway. I think its has got to do more with a certain idea. An idea which makes a boy change his whole life around. An idea that is so concrete and fascinating that he starts focusing on it and how to achieve it in the best possible manner. I think it is this idea that does the trick and I doubt there is any fixed age or time, when it comes to you. There maybe a million people showing you the way to maturity but until and unless you decide, you never see the path. And the day you get the idea , the roads just keep clearing up on their own.

Cinderella Effect

This is not a term coined by me but my friend Monali. I suffer from an advanced condition of this Cinderella Effect. Embarrassing as much as it sounds, it's true. Hold on let me explain a bit more.

Right from my childhood and all through my school life, my parents have had this weird habit of making me return home by 7pm, at the most 8 on extremely rare occasions. I don't think I have ever done over nights at any friend's place unless it was far away and it was more convenient staying back. The deadline slowly increased to 10:30 as I went to college and graduated. But by then, the damage had been done. The result is that I can't stay out of home after 11:00.

Pathetic, isn't it? Ya I know. I moved to Baroda. I used to live all alone and had absolute freedom with whatever I wanted to do. What did I do? Nothing! The only days I stayed out was when I went for a night show and the movie ended at 1:00pm. I start fidgeting and getting irritated as soon as the clock strikes 11! I have to get back home! Even Cinderella had till 12 :(

Well such is the tragedy of my life. I plan to change this now, though I am not sure how successful I would be. Maybe if I stayed alone and lived in a place that offered a night life, I could change. Or maybe if I had some inspirational company :D

Breathe before you scream

I apparently have an anger issue. Those who have seen it says I do, those who haven't can't even imagine it. Well I think I do. I obviously feel that my reasons for getting angry are always justified but others beg to differ. I have always tried to control my anger and the fact that there are people who laugh at the idea of me getting angry proves that I have been pretty successful.

The problem is with family and friends who are close. Mostly family though. Its human to use your family as a punching bag but I have slowly started to understand that they deserve our best. But I think I give most of my worst to them. I have seen that we end up hurting people we don't want to cause we get angry with people who we care about and at some level assume that they will mysteriously understand how we feel about everything.

I have been actively concentrating to think before I react to situations which provoke me. Its difficult but I think it helps. There have been so many times when I have stopped myself from reacting to statements that have proven to be just random statements and nothing of consequence. Had I reacted to them, all it would have led to was unrest and trouble.

Fortunately I have some really wonderful and sensible friends who help me out in such situations. Help me put things in perspective. At times I keep forgetting that everyone is not me and everyone does not think like me. Each person has his thought process and is entitled to his point of view and the right to lead his own life. It is at times, when these people get a little too tangled with my life that problems germinate. Maybe I should just keep them out.