Zip Trip... Flip Fantasia!

We men usually don't bother much about wardrobe malfunction, partly cause there's not much that could malfunction and mostly cause we don't give a fuck. It is more of a lucky incident that we look forward to while watching FTV. (oh come on! don't judge! you girls know we watch it and guys you bloody not disagree to that fact!) There's though one malfunction that creeps me out and that's when my zip betrays me or I forget to zip up. You'd think 29 years of zipping up and down would take care of such incidents. Bull!

The other day I was sitting in a car which had a seat-belt alarm and that's when it struck me. Pants should come with these alarms. If your waist hook/button is done and you are not zipped up, there's a small beep to give you a friendly reminder that, "Dude! Izzat khatre mein hai!" I think it'll save many an embarrassing moment for many men.

It actually is embarrassing not only for the poor victim but also the first one who notices it and doesn't know how to inform the poor bloke. He then informs his neighbor about the latest calamity and hopes that somehow he would step up and inform. Soon everyone except the poor dude knows about it :P

A couple of incidents that happened to me which I still remember are once in school and once in my last office. I remember it was sometime during my 9th grade. I think it was Himika and myself who had gone to CBD Belapur to collect some award for some art competition we had participated in. There must have been a couple of more people with us. I loved winning competitions but hated going up to the stage. I was panicking as usual when I suddenly realized that my zip had zapped :P My panic level just climbed a couple of notches. I really wasn't sure what to do. Hoping that Himika would have a safety pin (I had a presumption back then that all girls carried safety pins with them. I know its stupid). Well told her my precarious situation but unfortunately she had none. Luckily it was the day we wore our House T-Shirts. And luckier was the fact that my T-shirt was a lot longer than usual. So with my T-Shirt out and the zip undone, I went and collected my award. I think that was the most nervous I had ever been onstage and Himika was very amused all throughout :P

The second was in my last company. I think it was probably sometime in the first week. I was supposed to meet the Chairman of the company. I was a little preoccupied since I had just joined and there were a lot of stuff running through my head. I had just visited the washroom and had come back and entered to see the Chairman. I am introduced to him and we talk for a while. Everyone was basically standing while he went around talking to everyone. One of my colleagues, slid beside me and said, "Ahem! Your zips open!" I think I must have bent some Time-Space continuum that day, cause my reaction time was phenomenal :P The thought that crossed my mind was, "Shit! I just introduced myself to the Chairman with my zip down. That must have made an impression he'll remember for sometime to come." Fortunately I never came to know whether he had noticed and its a mystery I am glad I do not know.

Its embarrassing. Really embarrassing and men really ought to do something about it. I do not recommend an auto-zipper cause men know how disastrous it can be. Every boy during his childhood have atleast once faced the zip-monster, where the zip-monster zipped more than it ought to leading to a lot of pain and tears :P
It would turn out to be more of an auto-circumsizer. So a friendly beep would be more advisable.