Trip to Shirdi

Back from Shirdi. We left yesterday morning, ie the 14th of August. Reached Shirdi around 3:00 pm. Nowadays, we generally follow the protocol of finishing the Darshan in the evening itself. Its a lot emptier and and more peaceful. The mornings feel more like goat-herding.... hat...hat... phurrrr... !! Thats what the guards keep doing. Pushing and pulling you like one of the coconuts you offer.

My first trip to Shirdi was pathetic. Someone had given us a brilliant idea that we should just take the bus in the night, reach there early morning, do the puja, eat something there and take the same bus back. I will kill the bastard who suggested that! If only I could remember who it was. All my "bhakti", spiritualism, faith, belief, whatever you prefer to call it, went down the drains. Unfortunately it was also some special day because of which it seemed as if the whole of India had descended there. By the time I got done, I just wanted to get out of there. Seriously speaking I was so unsatisfied that I actually felt tortured and irritated.

Since then, this is my 3rd or 4th trip (don't recall actually). And all of them have gone well. Yesterday's trip was similar as far as the crowd was concerned. Crowded as hell! But this time we were smart. We didn't even attempt to get in to the line. We preferred to do the "Mukh-Darshan". The three of us spent some quiet time there, immersed in our own thoughts. And then we spent some more time inside the complex, relaxed and happy.

My last trip was on New Years. Now as I already said before, I have my doubts about the existence of God, though I believe that there is a powerful energy which can be tapped into. I feel as if Shirdi is a portal to access this energy. It could be an hypothesis which I have developed to satisfy my lack of faith in the concept of God. But I still do it. It just gives me hope to carry on, as some would put it, fooling my brain to accomplish my goals. :P

Well as human nature goes, I presented my long list of things that I need to accomplish, specially the ones which I didn't have complete control over. But then again, everytime I go there, I see all the people there, those who have come from far away, extremely poor and somehow managing to spend the night there, so that they could see Saibaba. Seeing them, makes me realize that I already have so much! What else could one ask for? I have enough money to spend a decent life style, I am able bodied and have an above average head on my shoulders (even if it isn't too far up above average), I have my parents who love me, a work that I like doing (no matter where I do it) and life is generally peaceful. Really can't think of anything else to ask for. There is only one thing I need right now and that is what I ask for. The rest I know I can manage.

I feel humbled seeing all the misery there and yet I feel and respect the faith they have, faith that Saibaba can help them out of it. Maybe that is the hope they require, to make there lives better or give them the power to fight on. Everytime I go there, the place just reminds me how happy and fortunate I am. So now I just ask for non-materialistic things and a little spiritual guidance.

15th Aug is my parents marriage anniversary and this time they spent it in a quieter and more spiritual way. I liked it, though I would have preferred had we left today, instead of yesterday. Would have been less crowded. My dad tells me this, every 15th Aug. "India got her independence and I lost mine!" This time he didn't say it.