The Shaadi

So my cousin’s hitched! :) We were to reach Konnogor by 6:00pm. Went and got myself a new sherwani. Pretty nice looking red sherwani :)

Well as per updates from my cousin, he was woken up at 4:30 – 5:00 in the morning and force fed a lot of curd and whey. Since he wouldn’t be getting anything else to eat the whole day, he stuffed himself as much as he could. I had initially decided to dress in formals at the wedding and wear the sherwani on the day of “Bou Bhaat”. After talking to my other cousin, I realized that the marriage would be a better occasion to show it off than Bou Bhaat. As a result, when I landed at the the marriage hall, I was dressed in a red sherwani, getting roasted and my internal temperature about 10 degrees higher than outside, all thanks to my zazzy sherwani.

Entered to find my cousin sitting almost alone except for a few of his friends. He was obviously of least interest to us and everyone else. We were more interested in meeting his better half. And that’s what we did!

The great Indian marriage is obviously a torture ritual for the bride and the groom. They have deviced it in such a way that anyone who has been through it once, will promise never to go through it again ( except for those few individuals who like to inflict torture upon themselves by going through it again and again! ). The marriage begins with a small puja which sort of represents that we are notifying our ancestors about it and asking them for their blessings. My cousin was then taken to the main area where everything was supposed to happen while we were trying to finish the snacks that we were given. Me and the rest of the guys were pretty hungry and so instead of accompanying my cousin, we stayed back and ate :P

This turned out to be a pretty good opportunity for the “Ladki-party” to steal my cousin’s shoes. For those who are not aware (eg my uncle aka my cousin’s dad), its a silly ritual where the bride’s sisters/cousins steal the groom’s slipper and then demand money in return. A case of slipper-nap.

The shaadi went on for quite sometime but not as long as the standards suggest. The pandit apparently was on a fast-forward mode and he wrapped things up pretty early. But my cousin had to go through everything and the smoke.

The marriage got done around 11:00 pm and mostly everyone had completed dinner by then. The bride-groom then had an extended dinner for an hour and a half while we waited for them to return. We have a ritual called “Baashor Raat” where all the young folks from both the bride and the groom’s side stay awake all night, along with the newly wedded couple and generally entertain. Usual games, antakshaari, dumb-charades, etc. So that’s what we did and it was super fun, especially dumb-charades :D

I got back home today. Though I have attended quite a few marriages, I never participated in a successful “Baashor Raat”. This was the first one. Pretty happy about it.

The Arrival

Landed in Calcutta yesterday evening. My trip from Bombay was good, though a little long because of the stopover at Nagpur. Personally speaking I hate the airplane seats. They are extremely uncomfortable. At least Indigo makes sure that they reach on-time. And they got pretty airhostesses :) Unfortunately watching pretty airhostesses get boring after the initial half hour. The first half of the flight was pretty quiet and peaceful. There was an elderly lady and a young guy in the seats before me. The lady could be his mother or an aunt. The guy was probably in the airline business. He kept explaining various things. The lady was one of those typical sophisticated Bengali ladies, the ones who have an accent even when they speak Bengali. I don’t know if others can make out the difference but these are the ladies who usually are educated, are over exposed to Rabindra Sangeet and a lot of art and literature. They love to enunciate, speak softly and yet firmly, mostly wear spectacles, speak of foreign countries as if they are just across the street, usually hold the reigns of household and also have the liberty of talking on behalf of their husbands in family/friend gatherings.

The second part of the trip was a headache. A man probably in mid-fifties and a lady probably in thirties installed just behind me. I heard the lady say that it was an extremely pleasant surprise that they bumped into each other. I soon realized that it was an extremely unfortunate incident for me. Both were part of the same extended Marwari family and they yapped continuously for the next 1 hour 15 minutes of flight time. I forced myself to sleep in the middle but not for long. They spoke of schools in Doon/Nainital and their quality of education, Marwari food, multiple sclerosis and how the guy booked a full 5 star hotel for 12 days for his brother’s marriage. I must have died at least twice during the whole conversation out of sheer frustration. I need to get myself one of those IPods to save myself from such misery.

Oh I forgot to mention that I think I saw Minisha Lamba at the Bombay airport. She was standing alone in a book store. I looked at her and she looked back and probably noticed my confused expression of wondering whether it was really her. Well I could have easily asked since no one was around but me being me opted to get back to the books :P

I turned into “Chakroborty” from “Chakraborty” as soon as I landed at the Cal airport and got myself a pre-paid taxi. It felt good to sit in the huge yellow ambassador once in Cal. These things are really comfortable. I remember one of their advertisements long ago. “Mercedes – 200 km/hr, Ambassador – 200 potholes/hr “. It was probably one of the most honest ads :). As I zoomed off home, hundreds of hoardings greeted me and told me about the new and developing Calcutta. The number of hoardings were really astounding, I don’t think Bombay can beat Cal in this department! The driving sense is still pathetic. I am a little used to it now thanks to my experience in Pune. Reached Ballygunge station and got off. And I suddenly found myself surrounded by Bongs. I always find it a little unnerving to see so many Bongs for the first couple of days during my Cal trips. In fact I go to shops and continue my standard modus operandi and converse in Hindi and then realize that I can actually talk in Bengali. It takes me a little time to get used to.

My cousin’s shaadi will be at a place called Konnogor. We have decided to stay in our house at Ballygunge and attend the marriage from here. All my cousins have reached and are at the central venue. I am contemplating staying back tonight so that I don’t miss out on the fun. Well my cousin’s have decided that they are no longer interested in batting and are literally throwing off their wickets. Another cousin of mine, he’s a little older than us, who was my last glimmer of hope has also just lost his wicket. He’s getting hitched on 26th of January 2011. So that’s another trip in the making. This time to Bilaspur :) That has made my parents a little more edgy :P Peer pressure apparently.

Lol!! I never knew that finding a partner is such a big deal! My Dad has started using his social networking skills to find me a mate while I am using all my skills to avoid such confrontations :P

Heart Status - To be allocated... all 4 compartments!

Writing on weekends is really getting on my nerves! Why? Because there is a lot to write and if I end up writing everything, people would sleep off midway. Just writing what happened all week takes so much energy that I really can't write abstract stuff. Sheesh!

Well here's a quick wrap up. After completing what I was asked to do, I am currently on a free roll with no targets on sight. I am now working on a sort of Proof Of Concept (POC) of things I sorta like working on. I am actually happy that I have no targets in sight cause I wanted to go to Calcutta next week to attend my cousin's wedding and had absolutely no problem in convincing them. A few days back I had thought I wouldn't be able to make it. Also gave me an opportunity to attend a 3 day course on Advanced C++. It was decent. I think I would give it a 3/5. They could have made it a hell lot more advanced though :(

I think I'll finally get a location next week. Things happened miraculously today. I just hope it works out and I won't have to sit in the project lab all day.

Last weekend's Diwali turned out pretty good. Had 4 days leave and I spent most of the days lazing around with the occasional errands and a trip to Bandra. Didn't really do much on Diwali, ie Friday, but met up with some school friends on Saturday. One of them had come down from Singapore and we ended up meeting over dinner. Here are a few highlights of the evening,

1. When 2 girls who can really take any guy's case meet up, make sure you are not at their point of focus. Try and divert their attention to another, even if it means sacrificing your closest friends :P

2. If you are a guy, do not drink and have no idea about mocktails, then stick to Fresh Lime Soda. Shirley Temple is not a good alternate and stay away from any drink that might be colored pink or may have a cherry on top. Not a good idea, trust me.

3. Bursting someone else's funded crackers at midnight at someone else's society can be fun. Specially when you are chased away by cops.

4. It is more interesting when the first someone else is hell bent upon finishing the cracker's on that particular night itself.

5. So in such situations, while the lesser adventure guys ( c'est moi ) stand on guard, the nuttier ones drive around the society, halting midway, lighting crackers and then driving off.

So ya, we had good fun :) Happy Diwali it was :P

*Our group at office has turned out to be a pretty interesting one. We are the most active girl gazers in our cafeteria (ok so there maybe more, but we are not afraid to own up and what can I say? we have pretty girls in our office :D ) and yet I think we are the most harmless of the lot. We are all more of the Howard Hollowitz type :P if you know what I mean. Ok more like the BBT gang minus all the fancy degrees :P. So one of the guy explains today, "You know we have four compartments in our heart. All of mine are to be allocated." I was extremely amused by it. :D

Vertical Limit

It's Diwali today. Does it make much of a difference to me? No, not really. Do I like this fact? Nope. But that's how it is. I like it at home. I don't like all the noise. I like the lights. I don't like the smoke. I like the sweets. I don't like all the calories in them. Crazy huh? Well before I spiral into one of my weird moods (and I think I'll get into one of those moods very soon), I rather change my topic to something more relevant or rather trivially relevant.

Last week I had gone to get my Mom a new pair of specs and that's where I saw this ultra-tall guy. He must have been at least 6'3". Though he seemed like he was a foot taller than me. Well I think 80% of the population is taller than me but then there is this certain percentage of people who are a little too taller than me! Most of my family friends in Bombay are taller than me. The only one who is short, is so because she is a kid and I am positive that a couple more years and she will overshoot me.

There was a time during my teenage years when I actually felt a little sad and left out, when I saw my friends on an unstoppable growth spree while I had run out of steam. My general growth had always been a little weird. As a kid, I had an unusually large head with ears sticking out which I am sure caused a drag while I ran. I don't think my ears helped me balance either because I spent most of my childhood falling down, crashing into doors/walls and getting hurt in the most innovative ways. I think over the years my body grew till it fit my head.

My parents were a little worried about me being vertically challenged. Complan obviously did no good (I ought to sue them for it :P). All those hours hanging on the branches were wasted too. Someone suggested my Mom that homeopathy might do the trick. I agreed just because I liked eating those tiny pills. Obviously it was utter nonsense too. The only thing that my parents did not try, for which I am glad, is that, "Aamake jutiye lamba korar cheshta kore ni :P" Anyways they gave up after I was 21 and had reached my vertical limit. They settled for a son who was 5'5". I once tried cheating a couple of inches by getting myself those extra large woodland shoes. Man! They are heavy! Extremely uncomfortable and slippery. An absolute waste of money.

By that time, I had started considering myself pretty lucky that though I was in the category of the hobbits, I was decently intelligent, physically healthy and fit without any handicaps. So what if I wasted my time ogling at the female kind and failed to join the line while God was distributing the stimulus to the height package? A shorter height really didn't stop me from doing anything. I did get to ride all the rides in the amusement park. I have danced with taller girls and I think they had a pretty good time. The only problem I used to have was during shows when taller guys stood in front of me and have a difficult time riding taller bikes. As far as girls were concerned, fortunately there were enough shorter than me (though a large population of the female species automatically gets filtered from the universal set :( )

There are certain benefits to being short though. I always get to stand in the front row. I never liked playing at the net in volley-ball, thanks to my height I always got to stand at the back. I never bang my head entering low doors. Leg-space is never an issue for me in cars. I could always hide behind the taller guys when I wanted to remain invisible in school/coolege. I can always fit in beautifully in the couch and sleep soundly (this makes me future proof in case I have to spend nights on the sofa). 4.5 feet pools are enough for me to have a great time while my taller friends usually crib about how shallow the pool is.

So all in all, I guess I wasn't really short-changed :)

The 3-day week

That was fast! I left day before yesterday and am back today :P I have started enjoying this dual life of mine :) So here's a wrap up of what happened in the past couple of days.

Office is weird. I am almost done with the work that I was given. Need to figure out what to do next. The Diwali fever was on since Monday. Empty cubicles, more people loitering around, the games room more packed than usual, work was apparently the last priority :P

Pizza, once a week, has become sort of a ritual now. A small introduction to my roomies has been in the waiting. Apoorv and Siddharth are the dynamic duo and we end up having quite a good time out there :) Last night Apoorv managed to get hold of another bike and that meant all three of us could go out for a movie and dinner. We decided that it would be a good way to celebrate the last day before leaving. So we decided to watch "Jhoota Hi Sahi". Sid wanted to watch "Rakht Charitra" but I had no intention of watching politics and blood/gore ( can be interpreted as Dmaag ko Shot! ). I was fortunate that Apoorv wanted to watch JHS too.

We have this portal called KLISMA which is basically a site that provides good offers on a lot of stuff like electronics, clothes, furniture, etc. Earlier it was an internal thingy but now they have opened it up for everyone. So KLISMA had an offer on movie tickets, where we could get tickets for 100 bucks. So we went and got ourselves tickets though Sid kept cribbing till the end. We entered the hall, settled down and waited for the movie to begin. It finally did and guess what it was? Rakht-Charitra! Well we laughed our asses off for a couple of minutes and then decided that we needed to get into the right hall. I had apparently read the wrong screen number in the ticket and entered Screen 3 instead of 4. So we ran to 4 and were lucky that it hadn't begun yet.

I liked the movie. There were some genuinely witty dialogues and scenes. John Abraham did a good job and so did the whole cast. Sid cribbed throughout the movie and also for a while threatened to go and watch the other movie after the interval. He didn't go. All in all, the evening was fun :) Got back home at 1:30am.

Remember the Bazinga that happened last Friday? Well somewhere deep inside I was really hoping that I would see her again. In fact I had decided that if I see her again I'll muster up the courage to go and say a "hi" to her. I have by default started taking the 5:45 bus now and had booked tickets for the same bus. I reached there and who do I see sitting at the same place? Her! The following things happened serially in the 25 seconds that took me to cross her - my heart skipped a beat, I smiled to myself, looked at her for a while, noticed a couple of guys with her, said, "Crap!" to myself, heard another "BAZINGA!" Well out of the 2, one left when the Pune-Thane bus came but the other remained. I did what I do best, remained invisible. My bus came pretty early today. Unfortunately we weren't in the same bus today. So boarded the bus and left her sitting there.

Sometimes when you wish something you end up getting it. Unfortunately, when you are not absolutely specific and clear about what you want, life can throw some serious shitty situations at you. I had wished that I see her again but I never wished seeing her alone. And that's what I got! Crazy shit! Huh?

Zip Trip... Flip Fantasia!

We men usually don't bother much about wardrobe malfunction, partly cause there's not much that could malfunction and mostly cause we don't give a fuck. It is more of a lucky incident that we look forward to while watching FTV. (oh come on! don't judge! you girls know we watch it and guys you bloody not disagree to that fact!) There's though one malfunction that creeps me out and that's when my zip betrays me or I forget to zip up. You'd think 29 years of zipping up and down would take care of such incidents. Bull!

The other day I was sitting in a car which had a seat-belt alarm and that's when it struck me. Pants should come with these alarms. If your waist hook/button is done and you are not zipped up, there's a small beep to give you a friendly reminder that, "Dude! Izzat khatre mein hai!" I think it'll save many an embarrassing moment for many men.

It actually is embarrassing not only for the poor victim but also the first one who notices it and doesn't know how to inform the poor bloke. He then informs his neighbor about the latest calamity and hopes that somehow he would step up and inform. Soon everyone except the poor dude knows about it :P

A couple of incidents that happened to me which I still remember are once in school and once in my last office. I remember it was sometime during my 9th grade. I think it was Himika and myself who had gone to CBD Belapur to collect some award for some art competition we had participated in. There must have been a couple of more people with us. I loved winning competitions but hated going up to the stage. I was panicking as usual when I suddenly realized that my zip had zapped :P My panic level just climbed a couple of notches. I really wasn't sure what to do. Hoping that Himika would have a safety pin (I had a presumption back then that all girls carried safety pins with them. I know its stupid). Well told her my precarious situation but unfortunately she had none. Luckily it was the day we wore our House T-Shirts. And luckier was the fact that my T-shirt was a lot longer than usual. So with my T-Shirt out and the zip undone, I went and collected my award. I think that was the most nervous I had ever been onstage and Himika was very amused all throughout :P

The second was in my last company. I think it was probably sometime in the first week. I was supposed to meet the Chairman of the company. I was a little preoccupied since I had just joined and there were a lot of stuff running through my head. I had just visited the washroom and had come back and entered to see the Chairman. I am introduced to him and we talk for a while. Everyone was basically standing while he went around talking to everyone. One of my colleagues, slid beside me and said, "Ahem! Your zips open!" I think I must have bent some Time-Space continuum that day, cause my reaction time was phenomenal :P The thought that crossed my mind was, "Shit! I just introduced myself to the Chairman with my zip down. That must have made an impression he'll remember for sometime to come." Fortunately I never came to know whether he had noticed and its a mystery I am glad I do not know.

Its embarrassing. Really embarrassing and men really ought to do something about it. I do not recommend an auto-zipper cause men know how disastrous it can be. Every boy during his childhood have atleast once faced the zip-monster, where the zip-monster zipped more than it ought to leading to a lot of pain and tears :P
It would turn out to be more of an auto-circumsizer. So a friendly beep would be more advisable.

Bijoya Dashami Sammelani

I know its a little early to say but I think I am free now. I feel at peace. That miserable feeling that had been haunting me last weekend is gone now and I feel a lot lighter now. :)

Had a good time today at the dance class. Though I am not too happy with the number of steps that we have done so far. He is concentrating on the form now but there should have been more steps. Samba is killing me and so is Jive. Rhumba and Cha-Cha-Cha, I can handle. I am just waiting for Paso Doble but from what I have seen in Youtube videos, its not going to be something easy. I probably just need to practice more.

We had our ritual Bijoya Dashami Sammelani today. I went there with the notion that I would be getting bored but I actually ended up having a lot of fun. Played a lot of Truth and Dare and apart from some of the stupid questions that the IPad game was throwing at us, it was quite a interesting time. I had a lot of water poured on me, Tooth-paste rubbed all over my face, had to wear a hair-band and do the Macarena :P After food, we went out on a hunt for ice-cream and ended up filling the Seawoods' Swirl shop at around 12:30 pm.

I just downloaded Linkin Park's latest album "A Thousand Suns". A lot of people tell me that all their albums sound same but I don't think that's true. They have grown with each album of theirs. Their music has a lot of anger in it, a lot of heart. The earlier albums - Hybrid Theory and Meteora was mostly related to personal problems and feelings. Anyone who has heard LP and loves their songs how Meteora can zap you out of your misery. That album has this super power to energize you. At the end of it, no matter how down you are, you tend to get into that "Fuck You! Bhaad mein jao! It's my life and I am living it!" mood. Its an awesome mood :) Meteora has helped me a lot through alot of times.

Minutes to Midnight changed and I think they realized that personal problems are trivial compared to all the shit that's going around in the world. So they focused their anger towards the world's trouble. A Thousand Suns follows that and goes full on! I still need to hear it a few more times before forming an opinion but I like what I have heard so far.

I think they have figured out how our personal problems seem so petty when looked from the bigger perspective. With the kind of misery that's going on, where people don't have the right to live/exist, right to food and clean water, I guess a little misunderstanding, a failed exam, a heartbreak seem nothing more than a little sorrow talk. But for everyone of us, these seem the most painful, the most pressing matters and the bigger problems don't seem to bother us, bother me, simply because I cannot empathize with the people who go through such difficult lives. For me the reason for existence is a question, while for some the reason for existence is a privilege.