I really have a very simple life. I have my problems but when I compare it to others', they are really not much. I do not know if I chose simplicity or simplicity chose me, but I thank God and my parents for it. They have armed me with all the things that I need to lead a simple, full filling life.
I wonder if its just choices that shape your life. I believe so. But then what about circumstances? Would you call life simple if you ran away from difficult situations? I don't think that qualifies. I guess the best option would be to face the circumstances, deal with it and gain experience. Make sure that you don't repeat the mistake again or repeat the situations which would lead to a similar messy circumstance.
I just pray that my friends have a little peace and quiet in their life for a change. Just to let them know how it feels, so that they can put effort to pursue such a life. :)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
It felt like a sunday. That's what it was! Bharat Bandh actually made a sunday out of a monday. I lazed around most of the day, read a bit for a change and generally socialized in the evening. I was so brain dead all day (and still am) that I actually didn;t think of anything to write. So I think I'll just let it be tonight.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Signs
I had a really great sunday. Potpourri at Inorbit, Vashi is awesome! Had some really great food today, followed by "I Hate Love Stories", followed by coffee at CCD. Full on "Masti"! The movie was decent, with the second half dragging a bit. Imran Khan was good and so were the support characters. Sonam Kapoor was very average but looked cute :). I was impressed with Karan Johar's take on his films and actually letting this movie make fun of all his prior movies. I like folks who can laugh and make others laugh at their own cost. It's a lot easier making fun of others and degrading them than making jokes on one's own self. Kudos to KJo for that :)
This movie had references to signs that the hero keeps seeing, as if being guided by a cosmic super power. If I had seen this movie a year back I would have just laughed and passed comments like, "Man! Such farce!". But then again, my outlook towards life is a lot different now. An engineering brain doesn't like to believe in things that cannot be explained by logic.
I don't think I have believed in signs or even considered them till September last year. I don't know if I still believe in them but I, now have an open mind to everything and anything that I do not understand. The question which initially bothered me was that whether the signs were controlling my behavior or it was I who controlled what I saw and what I considered as signs.
Have you ever felt so sure about something that you would do anything to make it happen? Have you felt as if things were happening just the way they were meant to be? Felt as if you could see a pattern in things? And when you were confused, undecided and lost, saw signs which miraculously made things simple in a matter of fact way? Or things just fell in place without rhyme or reason. Just when you thought that there was no hope left, some situation would pop up that would give hope and make way?
Well that was exactly what was happening to me. Everytime I got high, things would happen that would pull me down, and when I was down, I would see signs that made me push ahead. Open up doors where there were solid walls. There have been moments where I felt utterly hopeless, but the signs just egged me on. And I let them move me. I offered no resistance for the simple fact that I wanted to see the signs, because it was not the signs that mattered at the end, it was what they were pointing to. Did I get what I wanted? No! Are there still signs? I don't know because now I no longer look for signs to help me decide. I know what is to be done. I have stopped worrying about the end.
This movie had references to signs that the hero keeps seeing, as if being guided by a cosmic super power. If I had seen this movie a year back I would have just laughed and passed comments like, "Man! Such farce!". But then again, my outlook towards life is a lot different now. An engineering brain doesn't like to believe in things that cannot be explained by logic.
I don't think I have believed in signs or even considered them till September last year. I don't know if I still believe in them but I, now have an open mind to everything and anything that I do not understand. The question which initially bothered me was that whether the signs were controlling my behavior or it was I who controlled what I saw and what I considered as signs.
Have you ever felt so sure about something that you would do anything to make it happen? Have you felt as if things were happening just the way they were meant to be? Felt as if you could see a pattern in things? And when you were confused, undecided and lost, saw signs which miraculously made things simple in a matter of fact way? Or things just fell in place without rhyme or reason. Just when you thought that there was no hope left, some situation would pop up that would give hope and make way?
Well that was exactly what was happening to me. Everytime I got high, things would happen that would pull me down, and when I was down, I would see signs that made me push ahead. Open up doors where there were solid walls. There have been moments where I felt utterly hopeless, but the signs just egged me on. And I let them move me. I offered no resistance for the simple fact that I wanted to see the signs, because it was not the signs that mattered at the end, it was what they were pointing to. Did I get what I wanted? No! Are there still signs? I don't know because now I no longer look for signs to help me decide. I know what is to be done. I have stopped worrying about the end.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Paranormal Rocket Singh
My day started off pretty bad but ended well. :) Was pretty pissed off till the evening and too top it Conrad canceled the class today. But did end up having fun though. I think I have told about my little change in plans to most guys I wanted to tell.
Watched 2 movies, yesterday and today. Rocket Singh and Paranormal Activity. Rocket Singh was good. I realized that Ranbir Kapoor is consciously doing different movies. Some of the movies bombed but the stories are really nice. So was Rocket Singh. What I liked about that story was that though what they were doing was illegal, the character was trying his best to keep his honesty alive. He had a clear idea throughout about what was right and what was wrong and he did what was needed of him in times of crisis. Liked that point. Rocket Singh is definitely a good watch.
Paranormal Activity was more in the lines of Blair Witch Project style shooting. It got a little boring at times because there wasn't really a story in it. But it had it's moments. There were some pretty scary scenes. And I liked the parts where they are sleeping and its being filmed. I am still waiting for a movie to scare me. I am just tired of horror movies which make you sick with all the gore or try to startle you with sounds and camera effects.
Watched 2 movies, yesterday and today. Rocket Singh and Paranormal Activity. Rocket Singh was good. I realized that Ranbir Kapoor is consciously doing different movies. Some of the movies bombed but the stories are really nice. So was Rocket Singh. What I liked about that story was that though what they were doing was illegal, the character was trying his best to keep his honesty alive. He had a clear idea throughout about what was right and what was wrong and he did what was needed of him in times of crisis. Liked that point. Rocket Singh is definitely a good watch.
Paranormal Activity was more in the lines of Blair Witch Project style shooting. It got a little boring at times because there wasn't really a story in it. But it had it's moments. There were some pretty scary scenes. And I liked the parts where they are sleeping and its being filmed. I am still waiting for a movie to scare me. I am just tired of horror movies which make you sick with all the gore or try to startle you with sounds and camera effects.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Transformations
Age does not make a man, neither does it change a boy into a man. Incidents do, people do. Your first job doesn't make you responsible, nor does graduation see to it that a boy grows out of his juvenileness. I think there are two ways to undergo this transformation. Firstly, when you are pushed into it due to situations beyond your control. When you are forced to give up your immaturity and shoulder responsibilities. Secondly, after living a carefree life, you suddenly feel that its time to get into situations and circumstances which demands your answerability.
How you chart your course in life is also very closely connected to this transformation. Even though I don't think there is a distinct definition of "being the man" and I doubt ritualistic "coming of age" actually helps in it in anyway. I think its has got to do more with a certain idea. An idea which makes a boy change his whole life around. An idea that is so concrete and fascinating that he starts focusing on it and how to achieve it in the best possible manner. I think it is this idea that does the trick and I doubt there is any fixed age or time, when it comes to you. There maybe a million people showing you the way to maturity but until and unless you decide, you never see the path. And the day you get the idea , the roads just keep clearing up on their own.
How you chart your course in life is also very closely connected to this transformation. Even though I don't think there is a distinct definition of "being the man" and I doubt ritualistic "coming of age" actually helps in it in anyway. I think its has got to do more with a certain idea. An idea which makes a boy change his whole life around. An idea that is so concrete and fascinating that he starts focusing on it and how to achieve it in the best possible manner. I think it is this idea that does the trick and I doubt there is any fixed age or time, when it comes to you. There maybe a million people showing you the way to maturity but until and unless you decide, you never see the path. And the day you get the idea , the roads just keep clearing up on their own.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Cinderella Effect
This is not a term coined by me but my friend Monali. I suffer from an advanced condition of this Cinderella Effect. Embarrassing as much as it sounds, it's true. Hold on let me explain a bit more.
Right from my childhood and all through my school life, my parents have had this weird habit of making me return home by 7pm, at the most 8 on extremely rare occasions. I don't think I have ever done over nights at any friend's place unless it was far away and it was more convenient staying back. The deadline slowly increased to 10:30 as I went to college and graduated. But by then, the damage had been done. The result is that I can't stay out of home after 11:00.
Pathetic, isn't it? Ya I know. I moved to Baroda. I used to live all alone and had absolute freedom with whatever I wanted to do. What did I do? Nothing! The only days I stayed out was when I went for a night show and the movie ended at 1:00pm. I start fidgeting and getting irritated as soon as the clock strikes 11! I have to get back home! Even Cinderella had till 12 :(
Well such is the tragedy of my life. I plan to change this now, though I am not sure how successful I would be. Maybe if I stayed alone and lived in a place that offered a night life, I could change. Or maybe if I had some inspirational company :D
Right from my childhood and all through my school life, my parents have had this weird habit of making me return home by 7pm, at the most 8 on extremely rare occasions. I don't think I have ever done over nights at any friend's place unless it was far away and it was more convenient staying back. The deadline slowly increased to 10:30 as I went to college and graduated. But by then, the damage had been done. The result is that I can't stay out of home after 11:00.
Pathetic, isn't it? Ya I know. I moved to Baroda. I used to live all alone and had absolute freedom with whatever I wanted to do. What did I do? Nothing! The only days I stayed out was when I went for a night show and the movie ended at 1:00pm. I start fidgeting and getting irritated as soon as the clock strikes 11! I have to get back home! Even Cinderella had till 12 :(
Well such is the tragedy of my life. I plan to change this now, though I am not sure how successful I would be. Maybe if I stayed alone and lived in a place that offered a night life, I could change. Or maybe if I had some inspirational company :D
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Breathe before you scream
I apparently have an anger issue. Those who have seen it says I do, those who haven't can't even imagine it. Well I think I do. I obviously feel that my reasons for getting angry are always justified but others beg to differ. I have always tried to control my anger and the fact that there are people who laugh at the idea of me getting angry proves that I have been pretty successful.
The problem is with family and friends who are close. Mostly family though. Its human to use your family as a punching bag but I have slowly started to understand that they deserve our best. But I think I give most of my worst to them. I have seen that we end up hurting people we don't want to cause we get angry with people who we care about and at some level assume that they will mysteriously understand how we feel about everything.
I have been actively concentrating to think before I react to situations which provoke me. Its difficult but I think it helps. There have been so many times when I have stopped myself from reacting to statements that have proven to be just random statements and nothing of consequence. Had I reacted to them, all it would have led to was unrest and trouble.
Fortunately I have some really wonderful and sensible friends who help me out in such situations. Help me put things in perspective. At times I keep forgetting that everyone is not me and everyone does not think like me. Each person has his thought process and is entitled to his point of view and the right to lead his own life. It is at times, when these people get a little too tangled with my life that problems germinate. Maybe I should just keep them out.
The problem is with family and friends who are close. Mostly family though. Its human to use your family as a punching bag but I have slowly started to understand that they deserve our best. But I think I give most of my worst to them. I have seen that we end up hurting people we don't want to cause we get angry with people who we care about and at some level assume that they will mysteriously understand how we feel about everything.
I have been actively concentrating to think before I react to situations which provoke me. Its difficult but I think it helps. There have been so many times when I have stopped myself from reacting to statements that have proven to be just random statements and nothing of consequence. Had I reacted to them, all it would have led to was unrest and trouble.
Fortunately I have some really wonderful and sensible friends who help me out in such situations. Help me put things in perspective. At times I keep forgetting that everyone is not me and everyone does not think like me. Each person has his thought process and is entitled to his point of view and the right to lead his own life. It is at times, when these people get a little too tangled with my life that problems germinate. Maybe I should just keep them out.
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