Vertical Limit

It's Diwali today. Does it make much of a difference to me? No, not really. Do I like this fact? Nope. But that's how it is. I like it at home. I don't like all the noise. I like the lights. I don't like the smoke. I like the sweets. I don't like all the calories in them. Crazy huh? Well before I spiral into one of my weird moods (and I think I'll get into one of those moods very soon), I rather change my topic to something more relevant or rather trivially relevant.

Last week I had gone to get my Mom a new pair of specs and that's where I saw this ultra-tall guy. He must have been at least 6'3". Though he seemed like he was a foot taller than me. Well I think 80% of the population is taller than me but then there is this certain percentage of people who are a little too taller than me! Most of my family friends in Bombay are taller than me. The only one who is short, is so because she is a kid and I am positive that a couple more years and she will overshoot me.

There was a time during my teenage years when I actually felt a little sad and left out, when I saw my friends on an unstoppable growth spree while I had run out of steam. My general growth had always been a little weird. As a kid, I had an unusually large head with ears sticking out which I am sure caused a drag while I ran. I don't think my ears helped me balance either because I spent most of my childhood falling down, crashing into doors/walls and getting hurt in the most innovative ways. I think over the years my body grew till it fit my head.

My parents were a little worried about me being vertically challenged. Complan obviously did no good (I ought to sue them for it :P). All those hours hanging on the branches were wasted too. Someone suggested my Mom that homeopathy might do the trick. I agreed just because I liked eating those tiny pills. Obviously it was utter nonsense too. The only thing that my parents did not try, for which I am glad, is that, "Aamake jutiye lamba korar cheshta kore ni :P" Anyways they gave up after I was 21 and had reached my vertical limit. They settled for a son who was 5'5". I once tried cheating a couple of inches by getting myself those extra large woodland shoes. Man! They are heavy! Extremely uncomfortable and slippery. An absolute waste of money.

By that time, I had started considering myself pretty lucky that though I was in the category of the hobbits, I was decently intelligent, physically healthy and fit without any handicaps. So what if I wasted my time ogling at the female kind and failed to join the line while God was distributing the stimulus to the height package? A shorter height really didn't stop me from doing anything. I did get to ride all the rides in the amusement park. I have danced with taller girls and I think they had a pretty good time. The only problem I used to have was during shows when taller guys stood in front of me and have a difficult time riding taller bikes. As far as girls were concerned, fortunately there were enough shorter than me (though a large population of the female species automatically gets filtered from the universal set :( )

There are certain benefits to being short though. I always get to stand in the front row. I never liked playing at the net in volley-ball, thanks to my height I always got to stand at the back. I never bang my head entering low doors. Leg-space is never an issue for me in cars. I could always hide behind the taller guys when I wanted to remain invisible in school/coolege. I can always fit in beautifully in the couch and sleep soundly (this makes me future proof in case I have to spend nights on the sofa). 4.5 feet pools are enough for me to have a great time while my taller friends usually crib about how shallow the pool is.

So all in all, I guess I wasn't really short-changed :)